BJJ Poll: If Your Relationship with Your Significant Other Depended on It, Would You Quit Training BJJ?

by Caleb on October 30, 2010

A while ago I swore we would not touch this topic with a stick. But after last week’s poll which basically asked, “Which goes first: BJJ or your job?”, this is a natural follow up and I couldn’t resist.

Please relax knowing that your votes are anonymous and we will not try to blackmail you for money to keep us from telling your significant other about the precarious position they may be in!

And as this one should be a lot of fun, I ask more than usual that you leave us your thoughts in the comments section to this poll after you vote!

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Gerry October 30, 2010 at 4:17 pm

This is a difficult one to answer since my wife (a black belt) and I (a brown belt) both train. In this situation I think the only thing we would have to worry about is once you have children who’s turn would it be to stay home during a school night.

Dion McGill October 30, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Although I’m one of the “not currently in a relationship people,” I have been in a situation where my significant other felt that my “hobbies” took up too much of my time. The fact of the matter is that BJJ is a great love of my life, and if anyone I date can’t accept that fact, then we are not meant to be together. End of Story.

James October 31, 2010 at 4:58 am

My girlfriend loves that I train, the effect it has on me, and is starting to understand how BJJ works. I could never be in a relationship with anyone who would want me to quit training. It would have to be a pretty extreme circumstance that would make me consider choosing a relationship over BJJ (she got sick and I have to take care of her and I have no time to train, she got a $5m per year job somewhere where there is no BJJ, etc).

Franck October 31, 2010 at 10:14 am

Bjj is my private territory , therefore i can’t be separated from me , so I won’t quit bjj no matter what .
I have 2 kids , and one thing that helps to accept bjj , is to train and bjj teach to my son , which is a great bonding experience .

rowdy October 31, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Any girl that would give me a “it’s bjj or me” type of ultimatum is not the type of girl I would want to be with.

My single motorcycle buddies deal with this type of issue to. Where their SO feels that motorcycles are sooo dangerous that he/they should give it up for the betterment of their relationship.

Again, any girl that uses this type of tactic in a relationship is not the type of girl I want to be with.

I don’t ask mine to give up diet coke, musicals, road biking or NPR which are all things I abhor. Just like she doesn’t ask me to give up bjj, motorcycles, guns or whatever.

slideyfoot October 31, 2010 at 4:38 pm

I can’t think of a situation where that would come up, but if it did, I would quit BJJ, no doubts whatsoever. There is nothing more important to me than my significant other.

Al Morrison October 31, 2010 at 8:08 pm

No way would I give up my training, if your partner wouldn’t want you to excel in your passion then you are with the wrong person.

Abby October 31, 2010 at 9:46 pm

I don’t have a significant other right now, but if i did and they had issues with me training, i would break up with them. BJJ is a huge part of what helps define me as being me. I can’t change who i am and if they cannot accept that part of my life, they are not the right person for me.

slideyfoot November 1, 2010 at 4:05 am

I’m guessing the separation on this question is going to at least partly depend on whether or not the person responding is in a serious relationship. If you’re single, then it is probably easy to assume that you’d just get rid of somebody if for some reason your training in BJJ started to cause friction with your partner.

However, say you’ve been married for ten years and have kids, that isn’t so straightforward. It would be interesting to know what a top BJJer with a family (e.g., Braulio, Roger and Xande all had kids not that long ago) would say about this question.

SkinnyD November 1, 2010 at 6:51 am

My wife is very supportive of my training. Because of that I really don’t see this being a realistic scenario, but If it were ever to happen that I had to choose between BJJ or my significant other, I’d drop BJJ without hesitation. I’d be sad to do it, but there is no question which is more important to me.

PhilQNY November 1, 2010 at 11:26 am

I totally agree with Dion McGill’s post.

Michael Chow November 2, 2010 at 2:07 am

yeah,agrees with u lots..,
if my girl expects me to quit bjj just because she feel that “it’s dangerous”,”u don’t have time for me”.
hello here..
i’m a guy alright.
if a REAL guy asked which one will he choose sit still at home on SATURDAY NIGHT,or go drivin’ around like crazy..
hell i’m more of the second option.

Mr_Mike November 2, 2010 at 9:46 am

I’m 43 and, am in much better shape than the typical 43 year old that I’d be amazed that my wife (none yet) would want me to stop. Do you want to be with an overweight guy, prone to hypertension, or someone at a normal weight, in shape and, likely to live a long healthy life (knock on wood, but..?)

I could see training three nights per week. With kids, you may want to cut back, but when they get 5-6 years old, you can get them involved and, do it with them. Unlike wrestling, which older guys don’t do, kids and, their parents can do BJJ, or Judo together.

What a fun way for the family to spend time together. Even if my child wasn’t interested in the competitive side, you are still learning so much more that it would be easy to find a way to motivate them.

But, all my dates find out about my BJJ interest and, I think can sell them on it’s usefulness.

Frank November 4, 2010 at 6:17 am

I might, might cut back a little on my training. But if it came right down to it, she’d get kicked to the curb.

gus November 5, 2010 at 1:02 am

If it really came down to it which I know it never would I would stick with my significant other but I know for a fact she would see it in my eyes that I miss the sport so much that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself like that knowing that she took away something from me that I also really loved.

Franck November 5, 2010 at 8:32 pm

I think if I end up quitting bjj for my spouse , I would be so hyper , stressed out, anxious and shit…not nice to be with… bjj it’s a part me and it contributes to balance of my relationship as a husband as well as a father of two kids …I started enrolling my son to bjj on a more regular basis …he has ADHD and I can see the positif effect of bjj on him the days following training …bjj is a huge plus and should not be percived as an interference…it’s all a matter of balance I guess …this been said I train 2 nights a week …it would have been a different story If I trained every night….

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