Comments on: #103 Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Women

By: Vassilis

Vassilis — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 10:42:59 +0000

Hi, I come from Athens – Greece and last September I decided to begin bjj. I’m 43 years old and at first I had a great interest. Sooner or later I realised that I was losing my faith and I stopped to believe in me. You see, I was thinking that I couldn’t manage to be in the same level with all the other young partners (guys and women). Now I think that it was a big mistake for me to quit bjj and I intend to start again. Any advice? Thanks in advance.

By: keitha bannan

keitha bannan — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 02:59:59 +0000

Hi im 50 years old female brown belt also a teacher in juijitsu in new zealand when I first started competeing people laughed at me as I was the oldest by far now I have medals in the pan pasifics and international master and seniors in brazil I love Bjj and I have no problems now people love me to visit there gyms so keep going and dont stop training

By: Shark Girl

Shark Girl — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 19:55:18 +0000

Thanks for this podcast. It helped me decide to start BJJ this fall, as a 40-year-old mother of two.

By: Charli

Charli — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 04:57:42 +0000

Yesenia,
I studied jiu jitsu in high school, and still do. My father was really supportive and insisted that I couldn’t date any boys until I had my blue belt. He was convinced that if I knew jiu jitsu I’d be better able to defend myself if I needed to. I guess I did a good job picking boys because I never needed it. Anyway, I’m sure the guys you’ll roll with in class will be great training partners.

By: yesenia

yesenia — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 04:45:49 +0000

im 14 yrs old and id rlly like to enter in jiu jitsu classes. but the problem is that i would be the only girl their and my parents dont agree. theyre afraid that im gonna get hurt or the guy might do somethin to me. which i dnt think thatll happen. jiu jitsu is the 1st sport that ive rlly been excited to been in for a long time. and i would be extremely happy if i could go. help!!! how can i convince my parents to let me go?

By: Roxy

Roxy — Tue, 04 May 2010 16:47:59 +0000

My boyfriend has been training jiu jitsu for about 2 yrs and we’ve been dating about 2yrs also. I have come to love the sport and have been desparately looking for a school with women becuse he feels very uncomfortable me rolling w the guys. It’s really frustrating me because I would think that him training he would understand but he says absolutely no. I love him very much but I have been considering breaking up with him over it…any advise?

By: suze

suze — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:59:56 +0000

I just started my first class and I loved it. But my downside is that the knee that I had surgery on acted up and so now I feel like I have to quit before I even begin!!! Any advice?

By: Veronica Hagerman

Veronica Hagerman — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 14:17:40 +0000

I Have been training BJJ for about 14 months now. I was introduced to it by my husband when we first started dating but it took me about 2 years to finally start training. it was very intimidating to even want to do it because there was only one girl and she seemed preatty tough, I have never practice any sports or been in a fight in my whole life so i felt i didn’t have the condition or confidence to do it. but i had been on a very abusive relationship so there was a little something in me that was giving me the courage to try it out. i didn’t want no man to lay a hand on me again so Finally my husband convinced me to do it. First class i was able to train with him wich was great cause he introduced to everybody in the class. I totally loved the experience. i learned the rear naked choke that day and it made me feel so powerful to be able to do it that i couldn’t wait for the next class. Ever since that day my life has change dramatically. I am confidetnt, fit, i feel strong and my relationship with my husband has improve so much because now i also do what he loves to do and it has become our passion.

I am now a four stipe white belt and still get beat up all the time because all the guys at the academy are bigger and stronger but i don’t let that discourage me. i am determined to become a black belt someday no matter how long it takes, how many bones i brake and how many competitions i lose. i belive i can do it.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 20:51:05 +0000

This is great to see other women discussing BJJ! I am also addicted and cannot imagine my life without it. I started at 30 yrs old and have been training for 2.5 years. The guys in my gym were always nice and respectful but distant until two months into it when I started coming to more classes and attending tournaments. Now I’m family and wouldn’t have it any other way! There have been some guys reluctant to spar hard but no guy wants to be tapped by a girl! And at 6′ and not light I’m bigger than a majority of guys in the class so it doesn’t take them long to get competative. I suppose the funny thing is I’M worried when I spar another woman! Even smaller guys worry me…but that’s the great thing about this passion…you fight and train with every body type to improve and become your best!

By: Rissa

Rissa — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:12:36 +0000

I have always been the only female in the jujitsu classes I take. (In the American South, there are still some pretty intense gender-role expectations)
Generally, I find that having a sense of humor about the whole gender thing from teh beginning relieves any tension between the guys and me.
I do, however, tend to tap them if they “go easy” on me and let their moves go too soon, or forget to maintain their guard. Getting tapped a few times brings them around pretty quickly to the idea that beign female doesn’t make me a “soft” roller.
One guy, though, insisted on treating me like a paper doll. Finally, i just told him that a rapist jumping otu of some bushes wouldn’t be gentle with me – I needed him to pretend to be that attacker now, so I would be prepared for the real thing. Making him feel as though he was doing ME a favor by being tougher helped him get over the whole “we don’t hit girls” thing.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 02:01:14 +0000

I have only been training in BJJ for a month or two now. Although there is a women’s college team in the city that I live in, I opted instead to train with my husband, even though that means being the only woman on the team. I was fortunate in that I felt immediately accepted by these guys. My husband and I discussed me joining ahead of time though, and he was able to talk to some of the men that he trains frequently with to kind of feel out their comfort with me. The main feedback he got was that they felt as though he would be uncomfortable with them rolling with me, he was able to assure them that it was definitely not the case. I’ve only met a few of their wives/girlfriends, and so far my experience with them has been positive as well. I’ve been trying to get a few of them to join too
The down side is that I’m small, 5’3” and 130 lbs. This means that even the small guys outweigh me by 20lbs or so. On the up side, this makes me more technical, since I don’t have a chance of muscling out of things. A frequent grappling partner of mine is actually a 10th grader at the local high school because hes about the same size.
Overall, I’ve had a very positive experience with BJJ and I’ve been trying really hard to get other women interested. I really feel like its the best martial art for women….and it’s awesome exercise too.
I don’t even mind the bruises.

By: Nick

Nick — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 19:45:42 +0000

I have been training about a year and I was at first very cautious when rolling with women. I’m lighter then most of the guys at my school so women often pair off with me for a more fair match. I knew some would have a problem if I “took it easy” on them, my issue was more of me being paranoid about not making them feel as if I was coping a feel. I quickly got over that since the girls in my gym aren’t shy about grabing all over you to get their position! Now I love to roll with women because it allows me to relax more and be very patient and technical. I know I’m stronger so I focus on perfecting the technique and not trying to bull my way through moves. I just don’t have it in me to crush their head like I do when I roll with fellow guys, and I hope this doesn’t bother them.

By: Sue

Sue — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:09:22 +0000

Hi Caleb,
it’s me again Sue!
I did a class last night and it was more complex than other classes I’ve had and only this time i felt more of an idiot because the partner they put me with was new and not so keen to fight with a female and it really put me down by his negative attitude! I know if i put my head to it I’ll be ok. I just wish more Females can be involved… and i can understand why… (I was practically thrown in the air and it was a big shock to my body! but very fun!). What do I do when i feel so incompetent? this class is to make me strong and confident????
thanks Caleb : )

By: Caleb

Caleb — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 02:14:03 +0000

Hi Sue,

I don’t think you’re alone in what you’re thinking. Don’t give up! It sounds like you’re already hooked, which is the good part!

Maybe some moral support from other women who train might help? Here are a few BJJ blogs from women whose experiences may be helpful:

http://fraquellibjj.blogspot.com/
http://bjjvisionquest2006.blogspot.com/
http://www.gringabjj.com/

By: Sue

Sue — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 02:04:15 +0000

hi, i recently started my first few classes in jiu jitsu and at first i felt very nervous and intimitated by all the men in the class and the fact i’m the only girl there too. after doing my first few classes i felt so empowered even though i taped out a few times but i love the feeling afterwards and the fact im learning new techniques every week. I get excited also and want to talk about it when i come home but no one will understand or appreciate the sport, especially the fact i have to roll around with other guys… It gets frustrating at times because i know some of the guys get a bit uncomfortable because I’m a girl but I just want to feel good and try new things and so far i enjoy this sport more than going to the gym! I do find it hard sometime though to motivate myself only because im the only girl because i fear that im ruining others training lessons. do you think I’m silly for thinking this way? thanks heaps for reading

By: Bear’s Lair | Women and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu - Where are they???

Bear’s Lair | Women and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu - Where are they??? — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 10:17:01 +0000

[...] Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Women Podcast [...]

By: admin

admin — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 05:56:18 +0000

Sarah said:

I don’t talk about BJJ at home (which can be really hard sometimes b/c I get so excited when I execute a great move!)

Sarah I think anyone who trains BJJ and has a BF/GF/spouse can empathize with that. If it were up to us, all we would talk about is BJJ all day!

- Caleb

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:38:53 +0000

I understand this completely. So far my boyfriend and I have not reconciled with each other about me taking BJJ classes. The bruises are really a big issue and I really do believe it’s because he does not like seeing me hurt, or worry that other people will think he beats me. For now, all I do is buy some heavy concealer and I don’t talk about BJJ at home (which can be really hard sometimes b/c I get so excited when I execute a great move!). As for getting other guys to roll with me, I’ve never had a problem, not even with the big UFC guys in class. From day one the instructor (whom I knew outside of BJJ) went hard with me and never gave the guys the option to not spar with me. Keep up with it everybody! It’s worth it!

By: Jaime

Jaime — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:42:01 +0000

I just recently started taking BJJ. At first I was frustrated because the guys in the class were taking it really easy on me and every time they “hurt” me they would stop and apologize.
A few weeks ago one guy did just that and I said to him,
“You are doing me no favors by taking it easy on me and I will let you know if I’m REALLY hurt.”
Since then I have seen a huge improvement with how I am treated in the class.
Luckily my instructor shows me no mercy and treats me like any other guy in the class, if anything he is tougher on me because as a woman he wants me to be able to defend myself in a real life situation.
The only real issue I am facing at this point is my husband. He does not understand WHY I want to train like this. He does not understand when I come home, covered in bruises, beaten and battered.
The answer to this is because I feel empowered and I get a real sense of achievement when I get through a class.
He really has a problem with the idea of me rolling with men and commented the other day that I “smelled like man sweat”. I keep asking him to come watch a class so he will see there is NOTHING sexual about it whatsoever.
So far he hasn’t taken me up on this, but hopefully he will soon, because I’m not giving up my BJJ classes.